Therapy Sessions: Session 10

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Right then shit heads and Amy, we've cleared another milestone and we now have 2 people who see this, so thanks mum for doubling my viewers! I have been advised to open a Twitter account. Not quite sure how it works yet but I will be chirping things as I see fit! It's @KemblesTherapy so do things to make it happen

And to all you fuckheads out there who are trying to sue me right now for copyright bullshit hear this. I know I didn't create each picture, GIF video and godknows what else and I never said I did. It's called Fair Use douche bags, stop trying to be miserable and cheer the fuck up, its only a giggle

But I digress, here is the funny but before we start, I think we should take a minutes silence to honour Peter Faulk (Columbo) who died last week from Alzheimer's. What a legend. I find it kinda ironic though that everybody else knew his killer be he didn't!

Don't forget to download and have a listen to BritPod!!!!! Find it on iTunes or click here to visit their site

Enjoy...

PICS

If you can't see the image properly, click on it

Go Gran

Royale with cheese

I prefer the game Rapey

Adorken

Let the man park already

WTF

RIP

Remember that in the future

I think we are all the same with this

Suck it, America

Only in Japan

Why

You tell him

Gotta do what you gotta do

It's a conspiracy I tell you

If only I was as cool as him

I hope this falls on his house

Somebody help him

By this logic, I'm up for high treason

It just makes sense

Who brought the bath along?

No rice dick, this is just not fair

Don't you just love the irony

Be careful next time you commit a crime

Screw you guys, I'm going home

Sexy Beast

GIFS

If the GIF isn't moving, click on it

Oh dear

The recent lunar eclipse

nom nom nom

Love it

Gene Simmons new look

Boogie on down homie

Why was he trying this in the first place?

Freak

Like a boss

Timmmiiii

ANTI-SMOKING ADS

A collection of ads designed to make you wanna give up smoking!! But nobody likes a quitter do they!

PRO SMOKING ADVERTS

In the interest of being fair, honest and balanced... here are some pro smoking adverts. Unfortunately there isn't as many of them out there :(

DON'T EVEN REPLY

Below is the transcript of an email conversation with someone who placed an online advert on Craiglist

Original ad:
670cc commercial wood chipper/shredder for sale. Little bit of rust but works great. Contact Joe - ***********@gmail.com
$4000 OBO

From Me to ***********@gmail.com:

Hi Joe,

Is the wood chipper still for sale?

Thanks,

Mike

From Joe ****** to Me:

Yes, I still have the wood chipper.

From Me to Joe ******:

I don't have $4000, but what I do have is $200 and a need for use of a wood chipper for about half an hour. Would I be able to rent it from you for $200?

Mike

From Joe ****** to Me:

I don't see why not. What are you using it for?

From Me to Joe ******:

Don't worry about that. So would I be able to swing by and pick it up in my truck, then bring it back about an hour later? I can leave my driver's license as collateral.

Mike

From Joe ****** to Me:

First you need to tell me what the chipper is being used for or you can find someone else.

From Me to Joe ******:

Okay, I'll try to explain my situation. My cat just had a litter of kittens, and I can't get rid of them. I tried giving them to my friends and putting ads online, but nobody wants them. I even tried releasing them into the wild but they keep coming back to my house. I can't stand these little fuckers pissing everywhere and clawing up my furniture. So I figure my next option is to put them down. I can't afford to have it done professionally, so I think a wood chipper would be the next most humane way. I looked up your model and saw it has a 6 inch input, which I think will be perfect for me.

Mike

From Joe ****** to Me:

.......................................wow. No.

From Me to Joe ******:

Why not? It is an easy $200 for you. Can't you just pretend I took it to mulch some wood?

Mike

From Joe ****** to Me:

No. You are a sick sick sick sick sick person.

From Me to Joe ******:

I'll give you $250 and throw in a free kitten (not mulched, of course). Plus, I thought about my plan some more, and I decided to put meow mix all around the input, and just leave the kittens near it. That way, if they get shredded, it is their own damn fault, and my hands are clean.

Mike

FACEBOOK

This week's best and worse from the world of Facebook

MOTIVATIONAL POSTERS

Tony Robbins would be proud

COMIC STRIP

JOKES

I bet Jehovah's Witnesses have some good knock knock jokes...

Whenever I masturbate in front of a mirror, I always wear a wig and lipstick, just so it doesn't get weird.

What a pregnant teen thinks: my mum is gonna kill me.
What the foetus thinks: my mum is gonna kill me.

Snape: That's 10 points from Gryffindor!
Harry: Are you fucking serious?
Snape: How did you know about Sirius and I?

People say that sarcasm is the lowest form of wit.

They clearly haven't been to see a female comedian.

As I went to the bus stop, I saw a heavily pregnant woman there.

"When's it due?" I asked.

"Two weeks", she replied, with a lovely smile on her face.

"Well I might as well walk then..." I said.

The Sun: 'Tory MP Touched My Breasts'

Think yourself lucky - he fucked the rest of the country.

I married a stunning 18 year-old busty lingerie model to stop her from being deported.
Thank God Essex girls are so thick.

VIDS