Hey there sports fans, we have another week of funny lined up for ya. We have kids playing with tampons to revering in the awesomeness of Putin!
As per our sponsors request, if you know you shouldn't be reading this then fuck off! Granted I haven't made a penny out of these douche bags yet but it makes my page look all professional and that's good enough for me!
Anyways, check out this podcast, run by James & Co.. It's funny shit. You can download it from iTunes by clicking DOWNLOAD AIDS or go straight to his website britpod.com
So on with the show, you know the drill, enjoy
PICS
(To see the image in all its glory, click on it)
Who needs bird eating spiders when you have these babies on the prowl
dribble, dribble, dribble
Some people would benefit from eugenics
If you enjoy such tv, maybe you should use it on yourself!
Imagine being on the wrong side of that fault line when it finally drops
The UK's most unemployable man
I think this one is a eunuch
How does that work?
It's true, I have one in my garage
Use the force... to change nothing
We all know where's he's coming from
Good to know
meow
For this, I would charge millions
It's more fun when they play with the used ones
Exactly
A unique perspective
Remember to smile
Nay
The future is now
indeed
D4, I sunk your battle ship bitch
My next wife!
Who doesn't like juicy tits
Geniune catcher
GIFS
(If the GIF isn't moving, click on it)
Two laughs in one, love it
Why would you try that
I love it when people show off and it goes so very wrong
The Ronaldo of basketball
I done this once playing cricket, explains a lot I think
Boom
Take that mother fucker
Take that punk
HRH PHIL THE GREEK
As you may be aware it is the Duke's Birthday today, so in honour here is a list of some of his best 'gaffs' while on royal duty
Speaking to a driving instructor in Oban, Scotland: "How do you keep the natives off the booze long enough to get them through the test?"
To an Australian Aborigine during a visit in March 2002: "Still throwing spears?"
On cuisine in 1966: "British women can't cook."
During the 1981 recession: "Everybody was saying we must have more leisure. Now they are complaining they are unemployed."
Sharing a joke with a blind, wheelchair-bound girl with a guide-dog: "Do you know they have eating dogs for the anorexic now?"
Commenting on modern stress counselling for servicemen in 1995: "We didn't have counsellors rushing around every time somebody let off a gun, asking 'Are you all right? Are you sure you don't have a ghastly problem?' "
Responding to calls for a firearm ban after the Dunblane shooting: "If a cricketer, for instance, suddenly decided to go into a school and batter a lot of people to death with a cricket bat, which he could do very easily, I mean, are you going to ban cricket bats?"
Referring to an old-fashioned fusebox in a factory near Edinburgh in 1999: "It looks as if it was put in by an Indian."
Referring to a Cambridge University car park attendant who failed to recognise him in 1997: "Bloody silly fool!"
Talking to young deaf people in Cardiff about the school's steel band: "Deaf? If you are near there, no wonder you are deaf."
During a 1984 visit to Kenya, he's presented with a small gift from a native woman: "You are a woman, aren't you?"
Accepting a conservation award in Thailand in 1991: "Your country is one of the most notorious centres of trading in endangered species in the world."
When asked to stroke a Koala bear in Australia in 1992: "Oh no, I might catch some ghastly disease."
Speaking to a Briton in Budapest in 1993: "You can't have been here long, you haven't got a pot belly!"
Speaking to an islander in the Cayman Islands in 1994: "Aren't most of you descended from pirates?"
Speaking to a student who had been trekking in Papua New Guinea: "You managed not to get eaten then?"
At a 1986 World Wildlife Fund meeting: "If it has got four legs and it is not a chair, if it has got two wings and it flies but is not an aeroplane, and if it swims and is not a submarine, the Cantonese will eat it."
Pointing at 14-year-old Shahin Ullah during a visit to a London youth club: "He looks as if he is on drugs!"
To an Australian Aborigine during a visit in March 2002: "Still throwing spears?"
On cuisine in 1966: "British women can't cook."
During the 1981 recession: "Everybody was saying we must have more leisure. Now they are complaining they are unemployed."
Sharing a joke with a blind, wheelchair-bound girl with a guide-dog: "Do you know they have eating dogs for the anorexic now?"
Commenting on modern stress counselling for servicemen in 1995: "We didn't have counsellors rushing around every time somebody let off a gun, asking 'Are you all right? Are you sure you don't have a ghastly problem?' "
Responding to calls for a firearm ban after the Dunblane shooting: "If a cricketer, for instance, suddenly decided to go into a school and batter a lot of people to death with a cricket bat, which he could do very easily, I mean, are you going to ban cricket bats?"
Referring to an old-fashioned fusebox in a factory near Edinburgh in 1999: "It looks as if it was put in by an Indian."
Referring to a Cambridge University car park attendant who failed to recognise him in 1997: "Bloody silly fool!"
Talking to young deaf people in Cardiff about the school's steel band: "Deaf? If you are near there, no wonder you are deaf."
During a 1984 visit to Kenya, he's presented with a small gift from a native woman: "You are a woman, aren't you?"
Accepting a conservation award in Thailand in 1991: "Your country is one of the most notorious centres of trading in endangered species in the world."
When asked to stroke a Koala bear in Australia in 1992: "Oh no, I might catch some ghastly disease."
Speaking to a Briton in Budapest in 1993: "You can't have been here long, you haven't got a pot belly!"
Speaking to an islander in the Cayman Islands in 1994: "Aren't most of you descended from pirates?"
Speaking to a student who had been trekking in Papua New Guinea: "You managed not to get eaten then?"
At a 1986 World Wildlife Fund meeting: "If it has got four legs and it is not a chair, if it has got two wings and it flies but is not an aeroplane, and if it swims and is not a submarine, the Cantonese will eat it."
Pointing at 14-year-old Shahin Ullah during a visit to a London youth club: "He looks as if he is on drugs!"
WORDS OF WISDOM
helpful insight to get you through lifes struggles
POLLUTION IS BEAUTIFUL
A collection of wierd and wonderful images using smog/smoke/fog to create a strange effect
A collection of wierd and wonderful images using smog/smoke/fog to create a strange effect
COMICS
VLAD IS A LEGEND
I never knew how cool this man is, is there anything he hasn't done!
JOKES
Nearly bought Kate McCann's book about poor little Maddie today.
Then I changed my mind and thought, "Fuck it, I'll wait until someone leaves it in a hotel room."
I saw Stephen Hawking crossing the road with a kid the other day.
Not a very good role model, he only looked one way.
At school my favorite lesson used to be gym, due to the fact that I had the biggest cock in the class. I used to love strolling around the changing rooms stark naked, flicking the weaker kids with the tip of my towel whilst pointing and laughing at the ones with the little peckers.
That is, until I was sacked.
She kicked and screamed as I tried to force her legs apart, her face red with exertion and tears. I wasn't going to give up that easily. She was mine and I would have my way.
Again I tried to pin her down, this time with success and placed my hand firmly between her legs. She'd almost stopped struggling, I was too strong and I finished what I started...a look of grim satisfaction spread across my face...
...I'd changed my daughter's nappy.
Women are like matches.
They don't work properly unless they're struck.
My wife and I auditioned for Britain's Got Talent last month.
Simon said, "What is your act?"
I said, "Magic."
He said, "Okay, so what are you both going to do?"
I said, "We are going to make a child disappear into thin air."
He said, "Have you ever done this before?"
I said, "Yes, once."
He said, "Okay Gerry & Kate, good luck."
Emile Heskey (England) 59 caps, 7 goals.
Rene Higuita (Colombia) 68 caps, 8 goals.
Jose Luis Chilavert (Paraguay) 74 caps, 8 goals.
Unlucky Emile, the other two are goalkeepers...
VIDS
What's another word for thesaurus?
HAVE A GOOD ONE
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