Therapy Sessions: Session 11

I'ts like AIDS for your funny bone...

Follow @KemblesTherapy

Okay, so "apparently" calling our sponsors dicks doesn't work, so we're on our lonesome again :( Not to worry though, it means that we're "Indie" and are doing for the love of it... As if.

Big Thanks to the kiddie fiddler Madison Lindley for the new banner. I feel that the image really catches my characteristics. Check out her blog www.aclassydame.tumblr.com its good shit that will keep laughing. It's better than this rubbish.

Don't forget to do the twitter thing. I am told by a reliable source that it helps us to invade Poland for some reason.

Right then, got some cool shit this week and we finally work out which came first, the chicken or the egg!! So enjoy it and show as many people it as you can...

PICS

If you can't see the image properly, click on it

Does this mean he FAILS

I hate to think how much of a slut lady Kenny is

Packin'

All praise the sausage

And that's how they keep all the money

Sharks can be so rude at times

Darka darka

Legend

Scenes from the editing room floor

I want one

Smooth operator

Why so serious

He's looking at you

Pimp my cat

FIFA 12 looks awesome

Don't mess

My kind of town...

Back in the day

That pussy has balls alright

Great double exposure shot

Doesn't look real does it!

Fair point

Top parenting skills

Epic indeed

Why would you do that!

Better than a pet goldfish

Isn't this from Zelda or something

Cruising

Subtle...

I have tried this and it actually works!!! Try it now

GIFS

If the GIF isn't moving, click on it

Life is cool when we slow it down

That's her son by the way

What you say about my mother...

lol

Can't beat the classics

Wipeout

Take that Donatello

I actually cringed at this

You spin me right round baby right round...

CHICKEN AND THE EGG

Who cares what came first, what I wanna know is what happens in between.

DON'T EVEN REPLY

Below is the transcript of an email conversation with someone who placed an online advert on Craiglist

Original ad:
Clean fill
Need clean fill rocks are fine. not much. cannot pick up must deliver. will take off you hands for free.

From Me to brad ********:

Hello,

I have some rocks I need to get rid of. I have several different types of rocks ranging from 1/2" to 6" rocks. Just let me know what kind you want, how much you need, and when I can send my guy to deliver.

Thanks,

Mike

From brad ******** to Me:

well i need them to fill a small whole in my backyard so bigger rocks i guess? 6 inch would be good. i only need like 2 wheelbarow loads so not too many. when can you deliver?

From Me to brad ********:

6" it is. I can have a truck there to deliver any time between 9-5 Monday through Friday. Where are you located?

Mike

From brad ******** to Me:

do i have to be there for the delivery? i work every day so those times arent gonna work for me. if its cool could you drop them off tomorrow? just tell your guy to put them on the grass at the edge of my driveway next to the shed

heres my address:

517 *********** ln
coatesville, pa

From Me to brad ********:

No, you do not have to be there. I will forward this information to my driver and you can expect the rocks tomorrow.

From brad ******** to Me:

great

The rest of this conversation is the following day. I looked up his address in Google street view to figure out what his driveway looked like.

From Me to brad ********:

Hey Brad,

Just wanted to let you know, we actually need to get rid a few more rocks, so my guy is going to deliver them to your house in about 15 minutes.

Mike

From brad ******** to Me:

wait what how many more? i dont want any more i have nowhere to put them

From Me to brad ********:

We sent a truckload with about 8 tons of 6" rocks. Don't worry, all the rocks are free of charge.

From brad ******** to Me:

8 TONS? what the fuck you better tell your guy not to deliver them

From brad ******** to Me:

you got that? DONT DELIVER THE ROCKS

From Me to brad ********:

I just got off the phone with my guy, he said he just delivered the rocks. He told me you didn't leave him enough room for all 8 tons by the shed, so he just dumped them in front of your garage.

Best,

Mike

From brad ******** to Me:

WHAT THE FUCK!!!! i told you dont delever them you fucking dipshit! the fuck am i gonna do with all those rocks? you better get rid of them by the time i get home man..... how am i suposed to park my fucking car?

From Me to brad ********:

I am sorry that we had to block your garage, but you should have left more room next to the shed if you wanted them dumped there. Unfortunately we lack the necessary machinery to load the rocks back into the truck so removal is not an option. Also, my driver said he accidentally backed into your shed and broke one of the windows. We apologize for this. Consider the free extra rocks as compensation for the damage.

Mike

From brad ******** to Me:

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDING ME MOTHER FUCKER YOUR PAYING FOR THE SHED

I LEFT YOU PLENTY FUCKING ROOM FOR THE AMT OF ROCKS I ASKEDFOR. YOU DIDNT SAY YOU WERE DELIVERIG 8 FUCKING TONS OF ROCKS YOU PEICE OF SHIT!!!! USE YOUR HANDS I DONT GIVE A FUCK HOW YOU DO IT BUT IF I FIND 8 TONS OF ROCKS IN MY DRIVE WAY THERE IS GONNA FUCKING HELL TO PAY

FUCKING ASSHOLE

From Me to brad ********:

Brad,

If you insist on us removing the rocks then we are going to have to charge you a $500 rock removal fee.

Mike
From brad ******** to Me:

THIS IS SOME FUCKING BULLSHIT

From Me to brad ********:

I am sorry you feel that way, but without the $500 removal fee, we cannot remove the rocks. I realize you must be upset about your shed, so if you like, we can deliver another 4 tons of rocks as our way of apologizing for the shed.

Mike

From brad ******** to Me:

NO DICKHEAD WHY THE FUCK WOULD I WANT MORE ROCKS??? DUMBASS
THIS IS YOUR FUCKING FAULT. I DIDNT ASK FOR 8 TONS OF ROCKS AND IM NOT PAYING SHIT. YOU OWE ME FOR THE SHED AND YOU GET THOSE ROCKS THE FUCK OUT OF THERE YOU FUCKING PRICK

From Me to brad ********:

If you aren't paying, then you have to keep the rocks. These are really nice rocks, though. I'm sure you will be able to find use for them. I have a pile of rocks in my backyard and it makes for a great conversation piece. If deer are a problem in your backyard, you can use these rocks to throw at them. They also make great paperweights. There are plenty of things to do with these rocks, so enjoy them.

Mike

From brad ******** to Me:

im at my house now. where are the rocks?

From brad ******** to Me:

oh FUCK YOU

VENNDIAGRAMS

A funny collection of venndiagrams to help explain the world around us

FACEBOOK

This week's best and worse from the world of Facebook

ALL NATURAL

A selection of images from nature that you would think is man made

COMIC STRIP

JOKES

Watching the Women's World Cup reminded me of when I was first learning the controls to FIFA

My boss called me in his office today.

He said, "I've heard a little rumour that you are going to be sick for the next two weeks just so you can go on your mate's stag do in Vegas?"

I said, "That's correct."

He said, "Well in that case, I have no choice but to let you go."

I said, "Cheers mate, I appreciate that."

The wife was so smug, "Call me the brains of the family from now on!" she said, "I've saved a fiver filling the car across the road!"

"What did you do, flash your tits at the attendant?" I laughed.

"Ooh you men are so silly, it's easy to spot they're 10p a litre cheaper."

"Really, and on our doorstep?"

"Yes! God knows why you fill it up with diesel if unleaded's that price!"

My son waddled in, "We had P.E today," he panted, his chubby face sweating. "They made us hit a ball with a stick and run round."

"What, rounders?" I asked.

Suddenly he burst into tears.

"Christ, you heartless bastard," shouted my wife, "You know he's sensitive about his weight."

I was working late when I got a call from the wife.

"Are you still there?" she said.
"Yep."
"You'd better not be shagging that fucking secretary again, you bastard!"
"No, of course not."
"When are you going to come home then?"
"I'm gonna come in a minute."
"Good."
"Sorry, but I wasn't talking to you."

My mum just sent me a text saying, "Dad's not well, tb."

Shit! That's quite serious, isn't it?

VIDEO